Law enforcement officers fighting, caught on video...

Fight is on!!!

Sweet & Spicy BBQ Pizza...

Sweet & Spicy BBQ Pizza: A DiGiorno Cheese Pizza, add thick sliced ham, hot & sweet jalapenos, Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ Sauce, and pepperjack cheese, amounts of each to your taste... 18 minutes in 425 degree oven and enjoy.

I'll just stay out of the fast lane...

I dunno what's worst, speeders or back seat drivers...


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ebay...

If I don't get what I ordered off ebay, the seller usually says, "Well, you're SOL! See ya!". Bastids!


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This dog is playing with fire...

The kitteh is giving the pup the evil eye and the pup doesn't seem to know what to do about it...

GRITS...from a recent fwd email...

ent email

What Are Grits?

(Nobody Knows)

Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn. These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as a Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits.

Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.

How Grits are Formed:

(According to Southern Georgia)

Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in South Georgia, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the question).

Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits. They call them Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children.

Historical Grits:

(Remains only a rumor)

As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of the Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert.

After that, the Grits was not heard from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that the Grits was used during this time only during secret religious ceremonies, and was kept from the public due to it's rarity.

The next mention of the Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary discovered in the seat of an old sedan.

The woman's name was Herculaneum Jemimaneus

(Aunt Jemima to her friends.)

The 10 Commandments of Grits:

I Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits

II. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife

III. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy

IV. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Grits

V. Thou shalt use only Salt, Butter, and red eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits

VI Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits

VII. Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits

VIII. Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits.

IX. Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch .

X.. Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven.

How to Cook Grits:

(If you can stand the heat)

For one serving of Grits: Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. Add 5 Tbsp of Grits. Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water. When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to cooking grits.

How to make red eye gravy: Fry salt cured country ham in cast-iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and biscuits.

How to Eat Grits:

(If you really care to)

Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter.)

In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because they can cause cancer, rotten teeth and impotence. Next, add salt.

(NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.)

Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork..

The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. (DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk.) Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think it's Cream of Wheat.

Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:
(Leftover grits are extremely rare)

Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish, Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight. The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass. Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2' of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown. Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of course, totally unacceptable, but delicious!.

REDNECK BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS

May the Lord bless these grits,

May no Yankee ever get the recipe,

May I eat grits every day while living,

And may I die while eating grits.

AMEN

Now I'm hungry....

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My email inbox is full of these...

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Kittehs ar victms of spam too...

Joke of the Week from tbs...

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket.

This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," he said. "I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"



"There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!"

Dogs like exercise too....

If a border collie can do squats, so can you.... maybe....



And he's cheating by leaning against the wall....

Home security....

If only all burglars would meet such a fate...


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Fish in the bathtub?...

Just so stupid it's funny.


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I get a laugh imagining the cat's reaction to stepping in the dog's pile....

Memorial Day

If you're an American, please take at least a minute, sometime during this day no matter what you're doing, to reflect on what Memorial Day means for this nation.

New Health Warning...

<---- Click to enlarge image.

Double parked....

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