Thursday, March 05, 2009

Politically correct ways to say someone is stupid

Politically correct ways to say someone is stupid(list in no particular order):

1. A few clowns short of a circus.
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
4. A few beers short of a six-pack.
5. Dumber than a box of hair.
6. A few peas short of a casserole.
7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
8. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
10. One taco short of a combination plate.
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
12. All foam, no beer.
13. The cheese slid off his cracker.
14. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
15. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
18. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
20. As smart as bait.
21. Chimney's clogged.
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
26. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
27. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
29. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
31. No grain in the silo.
32. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
33. Receiver is off the hook.
34. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
35. Skylight leaks a little.
36. Slinky's kinked.
37. Surfing in Nebraska.
38. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
39. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
40. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
41. He only has one oar in the water.
42. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
43. She doesn't have all the chairs around the table.
44. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
45. He's sharp as a thimble.
46. A few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
47. If her IQ goes up to 40, she should sell.
48. About as deep as a saucer of milk.
49. She's not the brightest Crayola in the box!
50. He is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
51. The gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.
52. A few cards short of a full deck.
53. She could hold an in depth conversation with a chair.
54. Got a full six pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
55. A room temperature IQ.
56. A photographic memory, but forgot to load the film.
57. Bright as Alaska in December.
58. Fell out of the family tree.
59. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
60. Takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes"
61. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
62. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
63. He's so dense, light bends around him.
64. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
65. Twenty-four cents short of a quarter.
66. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
67. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
68. As bright as a bag of hammers.
69. As swift as a sailboat on a calm day.

No comments: