Looking for a new job? Unfortunately, you'll probably have to interview for the position. Here are a few things to avoid in that stressful moment.
(NOTE: Don't be stupid enough to actually try any of the items below, or you'll find yourself in jail, in the hospital, or, even worse, in the unemployment line!)
- Oh, my criminal record? Well...if it helps, I didn't pull the trigger.
- If it involves sitting around doing nothing, I'm your man!
- Are you busy later? I know a great little Italian place.
- Wait, you wanted someone with at least a high school diploma? Nevermind.
- References? That may be a problem due to those stupid restraining orders.
- Aren't you Rachel's dad? Man, she's one wild and crazy chica!
- Do you mind if I light up?
- Where do I see myself a year from now? Sitting in your chair, actually.
- Sorry if I'm not up to par this morning...I still have a nasty hangover.
- Before we start the interview, can I get an advance on my pay? My bookie's an impatient man.